I Just Don't Care
by genuinescence
Summary: It has been almost 3 months since Remus Lupin and Tonks had been going out. But what would Remus' reaction be when Tonks accidentally slips the 'M' word? PostHBP
1. Chapter 1

I Don't Care

Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all. Some of the conversations are from an actual RolePlay. If you wish to know about this RPG site, please go to my author's page for the link.

Part 1

:O:

Today was a breezy September day. The leaves outside the Auror Headquarters' windows showed the dancing of the leaves from the wind. They twirled and swirled around and around. Besides the familiarity of this day, you probably couldn't tell that it has been almost three months since the death of the great Albus Dumbledore. It has also been almost three months since Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks had been dating.

Tonks, if you call her Nymphadora she _will_ jinx you, had been lazily staring out her office slash cubicle window thinking. She was thinking of a certain werewolf who has captured her heart and even put her through some pain. Nonetheless, he was just perfect for her.

She was cheerful, stubborn, and clumsy. He was calm, intellectual, and thoughtful; everything she lacked. Maybe that's why they were so compatible, because they were the opposite and together they made up for each of their faults. When you look at Tonks and Remus standing beside each other holding hands, you would think how these two were together. He looked older and tired, while she looked young and bright. Maybe the answer to it is that love can come in any shapes, sizes, or ages. This couple was no exception.

Tonks counted the time left until she was finished with work for the week. _Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…ONE! _She got out of her chair and collected her coat from her desk. She was excited to get out her crowded cubicle and head for Remus' loft. He had rented a small loft on top of Leaky Cauldron in Diagon Alley. Even though Remus now worked for the Ministry in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, he was still tight with money. She always looked forward to meeting him and just spend time together. Their work times clashed so they never had a chance to see each other every day.

Just as she was to pass the main bulletin board in the Headquarters that had clippings of wanted Death Eaters, Daily Prophet clippings, and even a wanted babysitter for a set of triplets, she noticed an urgent message fling into the board. Other Aurors gathered curiously, and some uneasily, to see what the message was about and started to gasp and whisper frantically. Ever since Dumbledore passed away, there have been many muggle attacks and killings in general. She somehow maneuvered herself to the front of the crowd to see what the big deal was about and couldn't help but gasp herself.

_Aurors are needed for backup at Hogsmeade ASAP. _

_About four Death Eaters on the lose cursing people at random. _

"I'm going!" Tonks shouted to the secretary who ensured where the Aurors were at missions or assigned to. She forgot about Remus for a second but reassured herself that he would understand. The secretary nodded solemnly and Tonks touched the portkey made especially for Aurors to use on emergencies. Tonks opened her eyes and landed right in the heart of Hogsmeade. Two other fellow Aurors were beside her putting on their battle face.

"Let's go," she whispered and the other two nodded. She decided to change her bubble-gum pink hair into something less eye-catching. She screwed up her face in concentration and suddenly her hair grew longer and black. She looked completely unrecognizable. Satisfied with the result, she began to walk slowly in the dark with her wand out in front of her.

Hogsmeade was entirely deserted. Not a sound was made and not sound was heard. The sky was dark now, and it was hard for Tonks to see in front of herself. "Lumos," Tonks murmured. The wind blew the shutters and they creaked, almost coming off their hinges. Once, and beautiful town, was now dead. Tonks annoyingly moved a strand of dark hair behind her eyes. She didn't want to be attacked when her hair was covering her eyes, and so this was the reason she preferred a short cut. She was walking along looking sideways, making sure there weren't anything hiding in the shadows. Then she heard a yell of, "Stupefy!"

:O:

A/N: This is going to be in, I think, 3 parts. They would all be short like this because I was going to make it into a one-shot but I wanted the reviewer's opinion about it! I would really appreciate if you can leave a review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all. Most of the conversation between Tonks and Remus in this chapter is from the actual Roleplay, The Phoenix Lament. Go to my author page for the link!**

**A/N: Also, thanks so much for the wonderful reviews! Your encouragements and compliments make me more eager to write and please the readers! Go to my LiveJournal for response to reviews! The link is in my author page, also.**

**In addition, I lied about the 3 parts. There will be probably few more chapters, probably ending with a- oh, you'll find out in the end…**

**Chapter 2**

**:O:**

It had been a harsh night. Apparently, the newly recruited Death Eaters from Hogwarts have been practicing curses on innocent people in Hogsmeade. She was to collect the Death Eaters and bring them back to HQ for questioning.

Her original plan had been to find the group of Death Eaters and suddenly attack them while they weren't looking and surround them. However, they had not succeeded. The Death Eaters outnumbered the three Aurors, including herself, and only managed to get the hurt people to St. Mungos. _You win some, you lose some…_

Near the end, when the other two Aurors were down, the Ministry had sent more backup Aurors to finish them off. Unfortunately, they had chickened out when they saw the number of Aurors popping out of nowhere.

This was about two hours ago and Tonks was currently climbing the stairs to Remus' loft above the Leaky Cauldron. After stopping by St. Mungos to inform her worrying mother that she's fine, she headed to Remus. It was late now, probably past midnight, but she knew he'd be up waiting for her. He always did.

As she about to walk on the last step, she tripped. Over her own feet. _Bugger! _She was not a happy camper. Grudgingly, she stepped over the last stairs and looked for Remus' door. "Now what was his number…" she said to herself, straining to remember. Just then, she heard the door nearest to her right flung open.

"Nymphadora! Are you alright?" Remus asked, who probably heard Tonks trip making a loud _clunk_ on the wooden floor.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, nothing broken," she said waving her arms like some drunk person after flinching slightly at the say of her name. No matter how many times she insisted he call her Tonks, he refused to. He was just _too_ polite in many ways and she wanted to fix that. Remus eyed her worriedly, and led her to his door.

"I hope something serious didn't happen to get hold up like this," he said knowingly as he closed the door behind him. They walked into Remus' small loft. Emphasis on the small. Tonks walked over to the small table for two by the dining area, if you call that minuscule space a dining room.

"Oh, the usually I guess. Trying to arrest some midget Death Eaters cursing random people in Hogsmeade," she said bitterly.

"Ah, but why is your hair black. And long," he asked with raised eye brows. He knew her more than enough to know that she didn't like ordinary and dull things. She liked being eccentric and unique in her own way. Going all out, thus explaining her pink hair.

"Oh, I nearly forgot about them. Though, I wondered why black strings were getting in my eyes," she said and changing it back to her pink, short hair. She smiled weakly at him as he conjured up a teapot and mugs for them.

"Mm…" she said as she sipped the hot liquid and making her whole body warm, "So, how's your work at the Ministry?"

"Tedious," he replied. "So far, all I've been doing is paperwork. Apparently, Fenrir Greyback has been on a biting spree as of late and the Ministry is only just discovering his victims. I'll have to go out on some actual field work soon, but right now, it's pretty tiring. It's good work for me though. Can't say I don't need the money." He eyed the grubby loft warily. Money had always been tight.

Tonks looked at him with an expression that clearly stated that she couldn't care less. She didn't like it when he put himself down because of money or anything else. She decided to do bring up the topic, casually, that had been lingering in her mind for sometime.

"You know Remus, there's tons of room at my place. You can always move in," she said as if they were discussing the weather.

"I couldn't do that," Remus insisted. He didn't say this because it was a bad idea or because he didn't want to; he said it out of pride. He had received more than enough help from everyone in his life. It was high time he started dealing with life on his own.

Tonks resisted the urge to roll her eyes, it was common knowledge that Remus Lupin didn't like help from anyone else. But she tried again. "I mean, we don't get to see each other often because of our clashing work times. It would be just easier to live together..."she said carefully.

"Nymphadora, this isn't a personal thing. I just--I need to make it on my own. It's not you. It's more of a defining factor of my life. I've always had to try and make it on my own, aside from some of the help that you and Dumbledore have offered me in terms of a profession. I'd love to move in with you, but the timing isn't right," he told her, hoping she understood.

Tonks sighed deeply, "Is this how you're gonna be even when we get married?" Tonks cringed when she realized what had came out of her mouth. It just came out naturally and out of the blue. She looked up to Remus for his reaction.

_"Is this how you're gonna be even when we get married?" _Her voice ran through his mind. "Marriage?" he asked calmly. He honestly had never even thought about it.

"Uh...yeah. Marriage. Well, I thought...you have thought about _us_ right?" she asked uncertainly. She had expected a bigger reaction from Remus and was surprised by his calmness.

"Well, sure, but never as far as marriage," he said bluntly. "I've never really envisioned myself getting married. I'm not the marrying type."

He had thought Tonks would date him, realize how horrendously wrong he was for someone as great as her, and move on to bigger, better things. He had never considered the fact that she may have expected more from their relationship.

Tonks face instantly dropped. She was disappointed. _I thought he cared about me...I thought maybe he loved me..._

"Y-you mean you never thought about us getting married? What do you mean you're not a marriage type?" Tonks asked hoping what she heard wasn't true.

"I'm not good enough to be your husband," he told her. "It's not that I don't care about you. It's just that, I could never support you the way a husband should. I'm a bum, Tonks. A poor, old, miserable, bum."

"Remus Lupin!" she shouted in rage. _How can he just think of himself that way!_

"Don't talk about yourself that way! Do you want me to repeat what I said 3 months ago! Do you? Because I will say it again and again until you get it through your head!" she looked furious and sad at the same time. She didn't know whether to cry or beat some sense into him.

"What I failed to say three months ago is that I don't think I'm ready for those kind of responsibilities. I know you can support yourself, but I don't think I'd be able to look in the mirror every morning knowing that I failed. Maybe I'm just too traditional. I'm sorry," he told her. "That's just how I feel."

Tonks looked teary eyed and defeated. There was an awkward silence in the small loft. Tonks turned away from him and said, "I-I'll go now."

She looked back to him for the last time then she apparated to her cubicle in the Auror HQ.

Lupin sighed, rubbing his hand through his already graying sandy brown hair. He didn't really know how he felt about Tonks. She made him so happy, made him feel so loved, yet that voice in the back of his mind kept convincing him otherwise.

_You're too old for her. Look in the mirror. The two of you don't fit._

_You're too broke. You'll never be able to provide for her or shower her with the luxuries she deserves._

_You're a werewolf. You are meant to live alone; always and forever._

And sometimes, he believed it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all. Some of the conversations are from an actual RolePlay. If you wish to know about this RPG site, please go to my author's page for the link.**

:O:

The whole floor was deserted, for almost everyone had gone home to rest safely for the night. Many Aurors with family had an unsaid excuse to go home earlier, because you never know that one day they might not be home when you arrive. And no one said anything to stop them.

Tonks sat in her cubicle back at the Auror HQ. She numbly sat in her chair staring at the blank wall in front of her. She thought about that particular part of what he said that night. _"What I failed to say three months ago is that I don't think I'm ready for those kinds of responsibilities."_ So did that imply that he was only dating her because she had caused a scene back at the Hospital Wing three months ago? Was he planning to break up with her soon? Waiting awhile until she got tired of him? _I hate men…_

She felt her eyes sting and soon she had given up on trying to hold them in. Her tears fell silently, while she was still looking at the blank walls. Many other fellow Aurors had pictures of their family and friends, and yet she had none. She often got jealous at the pictures of their children hugging and kissing them. She hoped that one day, she would have pictures like them to fill up her small cubicle. The tears still fell, and she laughed aloud softly at how foolish she might look right now. Crying over a guy because he said he doesn't want to marry you.

She heard footsteps coming down the hall, and she quickly got rid of the blotchy skin and her runny nose. She then picked some random paperwork that had pilled up on her desk. She bent her head down, looking as if she was in deep concentration. The footsteps passed, and she sighed of relief. Suddenly, the footsteps seem to slow down and they quickened the pace back to her door. A familiar head of her fellow Auror came into view.

"Tonks?" she asked uncertainly. "That you?"

She sighed again, and lifted her head putting on a happy face. "Yes, it's only me."

"Dear lord, what happened to your hair?" she asked with raised eyebrows.

_Hair_, she thought. _Bullocks! _"Uh...I was just trying on different colors. You know me, I like variety!" she said quickly and fake laughing.

"Well, just for the record, that makes you look…look older and more mature," she said still eyeing Tonks. "I thought someone was rummaging through your office, because I couldn't recognize you! The brown suits you by the way," she said with a smile and went on her way to the end of the hall. Her footsteps' died away and there was silence once more.

Tonks groaned loudly and smacked away the tall pile of paperwork on her desk. The papers went every which way and finally landed on the ground. She let her head drop on the desk with a loud thump. Whenever she was upset with Remus her hair turned the same mousy brown color as his. Of course, he had the gray streaks in his. _Bloody emotions and morphing… _She slowly drifted off to sleep, dreaming of Remus Lupin.

:O:

Andromeda Tonks was sitting at her desk. For the first time in a while, she had something other than healing patients to do; filing. As the Healer tapped her wand onto the top of a large pile of sheets (which immediately hole-punched themselves and began sorting themselves into three piles), the door to her office opened, revealing her daughter.

Andromeda looked up to see her daughter, mousey-brown haired today, walk in and stand by the door. "Dora," Andromeda said. She stood up and walked towards the door, seeing the pile of sheets stop shuffling about. "What brings you here?"

"Hello mum," she said weakly. "How's work?" she asked straining to smile, but couldn't. Her smile came out more like a grimace. She walked over and gave her mother a hug. She hadn't hugged her only mother in a long time now that she thought about it. She felt like young girl today, feeling so secure in her mother's arms.

Andromeda hugged her daughter. She could sense something was wrong - the hug, the color of Tonks' hair, the smile-grimace - everything pointed to a problem. "Work's fine. But are you alright?"

"Oh sure, the usual work. The field work, and I'm fine by the way, I wasn't hurt," she said before her mother asked if she felt sore from the night before. "Work just got me more stressed out than usual." She looked to her mother, who had on an expression that clearly read 'Stop beating around the bush and tell mum what's wrong'.

"Oh alright, something has happened."

Andromeda smiled and led her daughter to the chair in front of her desk. "So, what happened?" she asked, conjuring up a chair to sit beside her daughter.

"Ever had an experience where a guy said that he wasn't good enough for you?" Tonks asked her mother.

"Is it Remus?" Andromeda asked softly, smiling sadly. She figured out why her hair was mousy brown today, instead of the usual cheerful pink.

"Who else would it be?" she answered dryly.

"Is that what he said? That he wasn't good enough for you?" Andromeda asked concerned.

"Yeah, he said he was too poor to marry me," she said sorrowfully.

"Marriage?" she asked surprised. "How did this topic come up?"

"It slipped," she said cringing at her clumsiness.

"Oh Dora," she said as she brought her daughter to her and hugged her again. "You gotta understand. It's his morals; you can't blame him for feeling that way. I'm so sorry darling."

"I know."

"Maybe he's too sagacious for his own good, turning away one of the most beautiful, intelligent, and overall wonderful woman, just because he doesn't feel worthy of her. He's just too gentlemanly, don't you think?"

"Yes."

"I'm sure he'll come around, Dora. He's a good man and he loves you," she said kindly and kissing her head.

"Healer Tonks, patient in room 406 needs you ASAP," someone shouted from the doorway.

"I'll be there in a second! Now, Dora, shouldn't you be at work?" she asked as she got up from her seat.

"Thanks for reminding me, mum," she said dully. "I'm in no mood for work. I'm calling in sick."

"Good idea, dear. You should rest. See you soon," she said waving as she horridly went out the door.

Tonks just sat there, thinking about what her mother had said. _So much for getting advice from mum. He loves me? Then why does he pull away from me whenever I try to get close?_ She sat there pondering, while the papers on Healer Tonks' desk kept on filing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part 4**

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I know you hear this excuse from almost every author, but school has taken over. Not to mention the busy Thanksgiving break. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!**

**Also, I wrote this chapter listening to 'Listen to your Heart' by D.H.T featuring EDMEE. Amazing song, listen to it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Believe it or not, this part I wrote all by myself. Not from a RPG. I know, hard to believe.**

:O:

Remus Lupin sat in the park bench, looking at the children running around. He smiled at the sight of them. He always adored children, he was just afraid to go near them. Although he knew that he couldn't hurt them while he's not in his werewolf form, he still feared them. The children reminded him as a child; he couldn't run around like them because he was so weak from his transformations. He had no friends either, until he went to Hogwarts. _No, don't think about this again! _

He took a deep breath, and then started thinking about Tonks. He hoped he wasn't too harsh on her. _Of course you weren't, that's why she apparated away crying! _He looked down to his folded hands and thought about her. Her smile just sent off positive vibes, and no matter how awful he felt, he always felt himself smile back.

He smiled even _thinking_ about her smile. He felt regret. He was lonely without her visits. He was alone again, because he pushed away the people who cared about him. He had no choice, no matter how much he loved her. Love couldn't pay the bills, love couldn't buy things for her, and his love can't give her what she deserves. She doesn't deserve a werewolf for a husband. No one did.

He was drowning in his self pity, he knew. He was usually like this before Tonks came along. She changed everything, everything for the better. He couldn't stop Tonks from getting what she deserves by just keeping her for his sanity.

He had to let go.

Remus had leaned back into the bench and closed his eyes. The strong wind blowing through his hair felt good. The scattered leaves on the ground made a rustling noise whenever the wind blew them back and forth. He heard a sudden crunch of leaves and his eyes snapped opened.

An old man in about his fifties, made his way over and sat on the bench beside him. Remus cleared his throat and sat up straighter.

"Beautiful autumn day, eh?" the old man said. Remus wasn't sure if he was talking to him so he just nodded not looking at him.

"So are you here because of your kid?" he went on. Remus was now certain that he wasn't talking to him. He said nothing and felt awkward while the old man kept on starring at him, waiting for an answer.

"Uh, no," he said finally, shaking his head. "I don't have kids."

"Well, my boy, you aren't getting any younger. You better get busy," he said laughing. Remus was truly startled getting that kind of remark from an old man. He looked at the old man beside him. He had dark brown hair and had dark twinkling eyes, reminding him of someone.

Remus laughed along hesitantly. "I'm sorry, but what?"

"Never mind, never mind," he said brushing things off. "So why is a young man like you sitting at a park alone?"

Remus would've snorted but he resisted. "I'm hardly a young man, sir," he told him. "I like the breeze during this season. So I often find myself at a park reading."

"Alone? Why not with your wife?" he asked curious.

Remus sighed again. This man wasn't going to leave him alone any time soon. "I-I'm not married, sir."

"Really?" he asked with his eyebrows raised. "Now, why not?"

Remus really didn't want to discuss his love life (or lack of it) to a strange old man he just met. "I, uh, have to get going. It was nice chatting with you sir," he said briskly and stood up.

"It sounds as though you don't want to say anything to me," the old man said still sitting on the bench and looking out to the playground where the children were playing. Remus paused and looked to him again.

"But do you what I think? You need to stop being afraid and listen to your heart."

Remus stood silent, hearing the old man's word and letting it sink in. He said nothing but sat down again. "Why is that, sir?"

"Because you don't live forever," he said simply. Remus looked at him quizzically, then the old man continued. "You need to stop worrying about what you _can't_ give her and think about what you _can_ give her. Now, tell me, do you love this woman you are currently seeing?"

Remus sat there dumbfounded. How did the old man know that he was seeing someone? How did he know what he was thinking about? This was strange. No one could read someone's mind…unless they are a wizard.

"Yes," he answered promptly.

"Then what's the problem?" he asked him softly.

Remus looked out to the park lost in thought. What _was _the problem? Why he making himself and Tonks miserable? Why? He truly never thought about it this way.

"Nothing," he replied after a brief moment of silence. He looked to the man beside him and shook his hand. "T-thank you, sir. Just thank you for making me realize…" he trailed off and stood up.

"No problem, m'boy," he said to him. "Now the next time I see at the park, I want to see you and your little kid playing on that playground."

Remus smiled at the old man and nodded thanks once more. He turned around to walk away, and then he realized that he didn't even know the man's name. He quickly turned around, "Sir?"

But there was no one there. The leaves rustled around and Remus looked around. "Strange," he muttered to himself.

:O:

Ted Tonks stood behind the tree, watching Remus go. He smiled at the retreating back of Remus Lupin. "He's a good man, he is," he said to himself and apparated with a small pop out of the park.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Some of the conversations are from an actual RolePlay. If you wish to know more about the site, then visit my author's page for the link. **

**A/N: Thanks to all the supportive reviewers, I love you all! I know I've said this a million times, but really, your little review saying you like the chapter or even an 'awesome' will make me smile. I appreciate everyone's review and I hope you enjoy this chapter! This is the last chapter, but there's an epilogue coming soon. **

:O:

Tonks walked into her flat in Diagon Alley. It was small, but comfortable enough for two. And it was home.

She sighed and plopped down on her couch. She had been just wondering around in Diagon Alley with her hands in her jean pockets and people watching. She always liked to watch people, they were so fascinating. Even the most boring family in the world looked interesting while outside in the busy streets.

Some were also funny to watch. A women trying to control her out of control kids, while the kids screamed bloody murder about wanting some sweets. Those were always amusing and you could see the same situation almost everyday. She smirked at the memory, kids were such a bother but cute nonetheless. She wondered if she will ever have child to argue with, to scold at, and to care for.

She sighed again and closed her eyes. With her head back and resting, she thought about the past two days. It was only two days, _two days_, since she last saw him and yet here she was missing him already. She missed him alright, his thoughtful look, his warm smile, his calmness. How he can be so calm and collected even in the worst of situations.

_Why, oh why, was he being so stubborn? Why couldn't he let the both of us be happy? Why? _

Those were the only thoughts going through her mind as of now. Frustrated, she grabbed the nearest cushion and flung it across the room. Alas, knocking over a glass vase her mother got her last Christmas. She cringed.

"Damn it all," she swore. Taking another deep breath she closed her eyes, hoping to fall asleep and forget about the current situation.

:O:

After the meeting with the old man at the park, Remus had gone out and bought a simple, yet beautiful diamond ring. He had emptied his savings account, but knew that someone as wonderful as Tonks was worth every penny. He knew it'd take a lot of hard work to build up his savings, but he was willing.

He paced outside of her door, flowers in one hand, his other reaching in his pocket, fiddling with the box. It was odd how a total and complete stranger can help him make up his mind. Maybe it t helped that he didn't even know the man. Maybe an opinion from a totally unbiased person made him realize something important. Molly and the others told him constantly how he should hurry up and get wed already. _You're not getting any younger Remus._ Of course, this came from Molly who would do anything to help out in a wedding again. Everything went back to normal after Bill and Fleur's wedding and she was just itching for another party to plan, another cake to bake, or another wedding dress to make. He had always waved aside their comments and tried to focus on the current state of life, not after or before. He wanted to wait and see what would happen, just let life fold things out by themselves.

But some things in life needed a little push, a little shove to speed up the process.

"Come on, Moony," he told himself, using his old nickname. If only his friends were alive. They would have been there to support him.

He nervously knocked on the door.

:O:

Tonks stirred half asleep on the couch when she heard a soft knock on her door. "Bloody hell, can a woman get some sleep!" she muttered as she reluctantly stretched and headed to her door.

"Yes can I-" she stopped in mid sentence when she opened the door and found Remus Lupin on her door step. What was more unusual was that he was holding flowers in one hand and looking uncomfortable. She just stood there staring and noticed he was standing waiting to be invited in. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.

"Remus, come in," she said as calmly as possible. She then inwardly cringed when she remembered her hair being mousy brown, she didn't want to show that she was taking this immaturely and sulking over it.

Remus smiled softly and stepped inside of the flat. His finger rose to touch her mousy brown locks and he knew he was the reason. Tonks was never the kind of person meant to be sad.

"Nymphadora," he greeted cordially. "I had to see you."

"For what?" she asked curious. "Listen, you don't have to come apologize for what you said. If you don't want to take another step further of this relationship, then I'll just have to live with it," she said quietly and her heart ripping to pieces with every word.

"I'm sorry you feel that way," he told her, growing more nervous. "Is there anything else you'd want to get off your chest while I'm here?"

He wanted her to be as honest as she could be with him. It was important, even if the things she had to say may not be pleasant.

"Yes," she said more confidently. If she was ending things with him now, it was better being honest and say what needs to be said. "You, Remus Lupin, need to stop pitying yourself. You are a wonderful, kind, intelligent person, and a great friend. But yet, you always block people out when they try to get closer to you. I wasn't going out with you because I felt sorry for you, I was going out with you because I love you," she said, trying to stay confident and not break down in front of him.

"And I'm also sorry you don't feel that way about me," she said finally turning her head away, her voice cutting off.

"But I do," he told her quietly, taking her chin and moving it to face him. "I always have. For longer than you know. It's just that, things in the past have scared me. They've scared me so much that I wasn't sure if I wanted it. Lily and James went down fighting for each other and their family, whilst Sirius died without any family at all. I just, I was scared. That is, before tonight."

"What do you mean?" she asked looking at him directly in his eyes. "What are you not afraid of anymore?"

"I mean that I'm not scared of you anymore," he told her quietly. "As unscary as you are, you scared the hell out of me. You represented commitment, responsibility, and _love_. I just wasn't ready for that. That is, until tonight."

He fiddled some more with the ring in his pocket. He was trying to build the nerve to ask her, hoping for the perfect timing.

"Oh Remus," she said, her mood lifting a little bit. She smiled at him, finally happy that he was over that way of thinking. "I'm so glad you don't feel that way anymore," she told him as she felt her heart grow lighter and lighter.

"As am I," he told her. "I'm really glad I don't. Today, well, it's been the best day of my life. After all those years of feeling lost and abandoned, I feel like I'm home."

He offered a quick smile towards her, reassuring her that he was telling the honest truth.

"So, you changed your mind about moving in?" she asked hopefully, and smiling back at him. She then eyed the flowers in his hand. "And are those for me?" she asked grinning widely.

"Oh, yes," he said, handing the simple flowers to her. He hadn't been able to afford anything extravagant after buying the rings, but he knew that Tonks deserved her day to be special. "But what I really wanted to come here to talk to you about wasn't moving in, really. It was something much more. I wanted to tell you, for the first time, that even though I've never said it, I've always felt it. I love you, Nymphadora."

He blushed, feeling like a boy again.

She took the flowers and breathed in the scent, feeling happier than she ever felt in days. _He loves me…! _Her eyebrows then furled into confusion when she thought about what he said. "Something much more than moving in...?" she softly. It was then when it finally dawned on her. The flowers, his confession of love, and his nervous self, "Remus are you-"

"Will you marry me?" he asked her quietly, holding out the simple, but pretty ring he had purchased earlier that day. He looked into her eyes, hoping, praying for an answer right then and there.

She took a sharp intake of breath and let his words sink in. She put her hand over her gaping mouth when she saw the ring in Remus's hand. She knew he had to have emptied his account to have purchased this. She felt her eyes water of happiness and locked eyes with him. "Yes," she said softly, Yes!" she shouted in joy as she pulled him to her for a hug. She laughed and half sobbed while her chin rested on his shoulder.

Remus smiled and put his arms around her, closing his eyes. He had been so nervous, so anxious that she wouldn't forgive him for what he had said. Now, after all this time, he knew that getting married was the right thing to do. After all, his friends had always said that he was the most likely to tie the knot first.

"I was hoping that's what you'd say."

"You thought I was going to say no? Now why would you think that?" she asked, still in his arms. This day had to be the best day of her life, even better than passing Auror training. She was now engaged to Remus Lupin. _Nymphadora Tonk-Lupin, now that has a nice ring to it._

"You were mad at me," he told her. "Sometimes, I forget that people can be forgiving. I've never really had many forgiving people in my life, but it's good to know I have at least one."

"Well," she said pulling away slightly to look at his face, "now you know that there will _always_ be a person who forgives you no matter what, me. It's not in my nature to stay mad at someone forever."

"I know it's not," he told her, leaning in to kiss her gently. He had never been one to display affection, but now, he knew that he was going to be a different man. He was going to be her husband and he wanted to make her proud.

She could swear that she felt her knees go weak at the gentle, yet, passionate kiss. She knew she had succeeded into turning a shy, self-pitying man to a loving and affectionate man. "I'm so proud of you, do you know that," she said softly after their kiss.

He felt a warmth rise in his chest at her words. "Really?" he asked her, letting his hand drift to her mousy brown hair. He stroked it softly, smiling.

"Of course," was all she said as she smiled and leaned into kiss her fiancée once more.

:O:


End file.
